Leading up to writing a book in 2021, I dedicated some time to reflecting on the process of writing. Each morning for about six weeks, I got up an hour earlier than usual and dedicated that time to stream of conscious ramblings about the craft. It was my attempt to break some shackles before turning to the book. It worked.
Here are some of the more coherent thoughts those dawn sessions produced:
(1) My whole adult life has consisted of study or employment in which writing has been my craft. I’m proud of what I’ve achieved. I’m more prolific than I think. Yet, for years, I’ve felt like I’ve been treading water, the writer in me sometimes trying desperately to stay afloat.
(2) I’ve reached something of a new beginning. It’s one where I embrace process over identity. Writing is something I need – the process, I mean, and I need to make time to fit it into my life. Finding the time to express myself and to clear out the thoughts and emotions that circle in my head requires routine.
(3) Writing in short bursts is helpful. I’ve settled on early morning. That’s my opportunity: no pondering about being a writer, filling my mind with news or indulging in checking behaviour. Just writing – like this. Right now.
(4) When writing has been at its most meaningful for me, it’s been because I’ve enjoyed the process, not principally the outcome. That simple feeling of expressing myself is the feeling I have right now. Something I love, something I need. Something I feel this very moment.
(5) There’s little else that stifles creativity more – that paralyses the writer in me – than the weight of expectations about what a writer should be. I want to be expressive, not fulfil expectations. I want to write, not long to start.
(6) I’ve spent most of my life dreaming about writing. Playing stories out in my head. Imagined lives and scenarios, set to the backdrop of familiar places. Perhaps that’s why much of the fiction I’ve written – autofiction — has involved fictitious people and situations in real places that I treasure.
(7) Since I began this pre-7am writing experiment a few days ago, I’ve written more than 2000 words. If I did that 50 times a year, I’d have enough words for a long book. It underscores what is possible in short bursts. I once heard an interview with John Darnielle, lead singer of the indie band The Mountain Goats, in which he talked about writing a song a week. That’s 52 songs a year, of which the best 12-15 would be packaged onto an album. One album a year is very prolific for a recording artist. It’s the same kind of thing for a writer. Sitting down writing – for the process – is what matters. Everything else flows from it.
(8) In becoming an academic, I’ve expanded my skills as a writer. I’ve acquired a new toolkit, one rich with options. I’ve also adopted new rules – and these can sometimes thwart me. This is good in the sense that I soon learn whether an idea is worth pursuing academically – and not so good in terms of mere expression. This has left me with a type of writer’s block, where some ideas are left circling in my head, unable to find a way out. It’s a reminder that I’m not only an academic. I remain many things — and I must remember that fact when trying to express myself. That’s the solution to overcoming this odd writer’s block I experience.
(9) Really, we all get writer’s block. But why? What stops us? Succumbing to writer’s block is damaging to you when you have something important to write, especially when you’re being paid for it. A builder, I’m sure, doesn’t get builder’s block. If you have a calling, why not accept the call? Why wait? Even if it’s not a calling but a mere opportunity, why not just take that opportunity?
(10) Writing in bursts like this each morning is playing the long game. I’ve had times in my life where I’ve had hours on end to write – all day and all night if I’ve wanted. Times have changed. Life is busy. If I want to write now, I need to schedule time and chip away at it. Constantly. Otherwise, nothing will ever get written.
(11) This morning writing is working out well. The words are flowing from me. Mornings are starting beautifully; I’m much more in tune with myself and nature. Being with my thoughts is a wonderful way to clear energy from my mind and ease into the day.
(12) I’m discovering that being busy, when it comes to studying and writing, doesn’t have a ceiling. Achieving focus is really about perseverance and habit. Setting up the conditions in which to do something — and then doing it. The more you commit to the routine and build up the strength to write and study, the less tiring it becomes; you adapt.
(13) I’m enjoying the challenge of chipping away at tasks. Setting myself a deadline to complete a project, and then working on tasks each day to get there. It’s so much better than thinking about the project as a whole — that seems much too big and insurmountable.
(14) This morning writing ritual is clearing out my head, helping me start the day on a positive note, with a sense of equanimity. It’s also sharpening my writing skills. It’s making me more match fit, so that when I sit down and write for my day job, the words flow. I don’t overthink everything to the point that nothing comes out. There’s a certain flow of words from my mind, to my fingers, to the page. So, writing is worth it. Worth it for itself.
(15) You wake up thinking you’re too tired to write. Then before you know it, you’ve written almost 500 words. It’s a wonderful ritual.
(16) Embrace the solitude. The internal world and life of a writer; after all, it’s all a writer has in their control.